THANKS FOR STOPPING BY!!
We’re not normal.
Today I’m pondering things…and when I ponder…my writers fingers find a way to get it out…
Soooooo, in case you’ve never noticed…we move a lot.
Maybe we have gypsy in our blood. Maybe we just crave change, or maybe we’re just crazy adventurers who aren’t afraid to jump head first into a pile of who knows what! But the most likely reason is that we gave up trying to be normal a long time ago. We knew very early on in our marriage that God would never let us be normal.
We’ve just always been willing to go wherever we’ve been needed. We've always been happy to let whatever gifts we have be used for however long they’ve been needed.
Has it always been easy? NOPE!!! Has it always been fun? Ummmm, NOT SO MUCH!!!!!
A lot of people live in one house and one town all their lives. A thousand times I’ve craved such simplicity, such consistency. How I admire those families that get to put their roots down deep and have generations of memories, and traditions in one sweet place!
But that wasn’t in the cards for us. That wasn’t the life we got to have.
Not that I’m complaining….
Mountains of cardboard and miles of packing tape have been part of our story. 9 towns have been our temporary homes, our kids had to go to WAY too many schools and make new friends WAY too many times! Sometimes I feel guilty about that. Sometimes I wish they could have known “normal…”
But somehow, I think we’ve all faired pretty well. We’ve surfaced with 3 happy, kind, strong, and (mostly) normal kids and 1 practically perfect son in law! We’ve meet hundreds, if not thousands of people. We have forged beautiful, lifetime friendships all over this province and even into the United States. Time can never take away the awesome adventures we’ve had. The things we’ve been privileged to be a part of have enriched our lives in incredible ways!! The memories created along the way are locked inside of our hearts and cannot be erased! Just last week I had dinner with a sweet friend I met years ago in one of those 9 towns, oh how she blessed my life….I can’t imagine trading her for normal…
We know we’ve maybe missed out on some things. But we also know, the impact that the sacrifice has made. We know the stories no one else knows. We know the people and the faces that we did it for. We knew the eternal value our choices always had. We knew the cost. We knew it was worth it.
And yes, we would do it all again!
So now, as we embark on yet another change, we look forward to once again being little tools in the Hands of an Incredible Craftsman.
We are very honoured to be entrusted with a life that isn’t normal.
Lessons from the Gutter
Can I just be transparent for a minute or two?
I recently spent a couple of days in a gutter.
Annoyingly, it was 2 days of letting my mind and heart wander to that dark place of comparison and strolling down the ugly street of envy.
I was battered with thoughts full of accusations, failures and shortcomings that I somehow allowed myself to indulge in…
NOT that I am blaming it, but it all started with a Facebook post.
Social media is a wonderful tool that allows so many of us to express our feelings, share photos, and hopefully bring smiles to others faces…
Some people like to use it to rant. Admittedly, some of these rants make me laugh OUT LOUD A LOT and others completely break my heart and leave me in utter disbelief that “good” people are able to type such MEAN things…but that’s a whole other blog so I won’t pull at that thread today….
Getting back to my struggle.
A sweet Facebook friend of mine posted a blog about comparison a few weeks back and it was powerful and made me think a lot. Apparently though, I didn’t let it sink in enough because I’ve found myself trying to dig out of a hole of jealousy…which is completely ridiculous because I have NOTHING to be jealous of.
People probably look at my life and are jealous (which I don’t want at all) yet here I am all mad because I’m trying to squeeze my feet into someone else’s shoes….and they just won’t fit! (Just like those crazy Cinderella sisters…)
The grass on my side of the fence is blindingly green yet I’ve got my freckled nose poked over the fence checking out what’s happening next door…
How do I stop this? How do I make my heart and head realize that this is a trap and a trick to get me distracted from my own business? It’s nothing more than a mere interruption in MY race?
Do I un-app my phone? Remove all traces of Facebook, Twitter, and my personal favourite, Instagram? Let’s just be honest, that ain’t gonna happen!
So what is the answer??
I went to bed feeling full of angst and frustration and when suddenly I remembered a verse that slapped me across the face (which I completely deserved!)
Phil 4:8-9 …”Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things…and the God of peace will be with you.“
I really LOVE when my head and heart are at peace, and for me, this all comes down to a heart issue. It’s a matter of what I LET steal my focus and what I GIVE permission to cut into my brain space. What I ALLOW to dance around in my heart.
It all starts with my thoughts, AND how much TIME those crazy thoughts get!
SO if I practice these things with a little more tenacity and determination…I will find my heart and head a lot happier….and I bet I’ll find myself wrapped up in a lot more peace! And this is for every aspect of my life, not just when I'm skimming through the www.
I realize too that social media is but a mere glimpse into the "best" of everyones lives, including my own....and that when the phones shut down and the cameras turn away...the reality is we all have hard and not so pretty stuff, and that the cute little edited pictures we post and hashtags #arenotreallife !
So instead of letting my thoughts get the best of me...I will try and think about what is real...and true...and good.
Using these words to guide my fingers before I post anything on social media might be smart too…
If what I am posting has no value, if it can’t bring a smile or encourage another’s heart…why exactly am I posting it? It might be “my right” but is it right? Does it add any value or happiness into an already VERY sad newsfeed?
Regardless of spiritual or biblical beliefs isn’t this a good recipe for all of us to follow not only on social media but also in life in general? Imagine a world where this was EVERYONES moral compass!?
Outside of social media, in my daily life, in every encounter that I have with people from all walks of life, I want these characteristics to lead me and make me someone others can depend on to find kindness in.
Inside social media… I now hold myself accountable for any and all future things that I post AND that I read. Also apologize, if I have ever hurt or offended you in any way with anything I have posted. I promise to be much more mindful.
This is the new healthy standard to which I will set my social media relationship.
If it’s true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable excellent or praiseworthy then I’ll keep posting and reading it, but if it’s not…
Well there’s a cute little unfollow button for that...
I have a Helper!
Whatever this crazy year ahead brings me, one thing I know for certain, I have a Helper.
I sat feeling overwhelmed this morning. Between the horrible weather and roads and my over the top Christmas decoration tear down, and meetings, and work and my daughters wedding plans and kids leaving home, I literally felt my throat constrict and my head pound.
I am travelling a ton this year and going places that I CANNOT wait to get to and embarking on adventures that I’ve been itching to get at my whole life…and yet, I sat there feeling alone, afraid and weighed down at the thought of all the “to do’s.”
Then, my bible caught my eye. That trusted leather bound book has literally been a lifesaver to me. When I’ve been sick, I’ve fallen asleep holding it. When I’ve had pain, I’ve laid it on sore spots and seen incredible things happen. It’s such a powerful and personal thing that it’s almost hard to explain… I just have this child like faith that the words inside the cover literally carry power that can change my situations. I’ve seen it first hand…
So, like usual, this morning I turned to my bible for some much-needed relief.
I opened it to Psalm 46.
Here’s what I read…
Verse 1, 2, and 3 say,“God is our refuge and strength, and ever-present help in trouble, therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though it’s waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” Verse 10 says, “Be still and KNOW that I am God…”
53 words that completely calmed my soul.
How can I worry? How can I fret? How can I say that I trust Him and then FORGET to trust Him? The entire world can shift, move and collapse and yet He says, “BE STILL.”
How can feel alone? How do I dare feel like I have no help? When he says He is EVER-PRESENT! He doesn’t take coffee breaks, vacations or sabbaticals. He’s always right beside me, waiting for me to ask Him for help.
I like to do things myself…it’s a control thing…I can admit it.
Then, in my lovely “Jennifer-ish” way, I’ll get mad because no one offers to help me…Scott will say “if you want help, you need to ask us” and my response is always the same…”I shouldn’t HAVE to ask!”
Well, apparently I’m wrong.
I should ask. I need to talk to my ever-present Helper and tell Him how I’m feeling. Invite Him into my situation and give Him the chance to prove Himself as faithful.
I need to take His easy yoke and His light burdens, and make them mine.
I need to partake of His peace, and indulge in His strength.
I need to feast on His grace, which is always sufficient.
And I need to take shelter under His mighty wing.
That’s when I’ll be able to face what is just not faceable. That’s where my weaknesses will meet their defeat. That’s how my hope will stay anchored when my heart wants to float away.
And that’s why I can face 2015. Because I have a Helper! An always there for me 24 hour a day 7 days a week helper! And He really is ALL that I need!!
Take your time
Haven’t written in a while….
I had the day to myself today…just a quiet, nothing to do, boring, simple, kind of day. The kind I love!!
As I sat on my deck thinking of times past, I smiled as I remembered something my 17 year old son Daniel said to me a few weeks ago. It was profound.
“Mom do you realize there was a time that you put us down and then never picked us back up?”
I didn’t get it at first, but then I understood.
There was a day in all three of my kid’s lives when I was holding them in my lap or arms. Maybe I carried them up the stairs into their beds, or maybe I picked them up because they were hurt or afraid…whatever the reason, at some point I put them down and never picked them up again. Either they were too big or I was too weak. Whatever the reason, there certainly was a last time for each of them…
Had I known then that I would never hold them again, would I have enjoyed it more? Would I have savored it for the precious gift that it was?
I didn’t know. I never thought of it. It just ended. It was just something that time took from me.
Today, what I wouldn’t give to go back, pick them up, kiss their chubby little sticky cheeks, and take in the beauty of their childish innocence.
Time goes so quickly. Life passes in a flash and before we know it, our babies that rob us of sleep and sometimes sanity, are making their own way and starting their own lives. It’s a bittersweet season of life that I looked forward to for a long time and now, as it knocks on my door, I find myself terrified to open it.
What will life bring these babies of mine. What joy? What heartache? What trials? What triumphs? Did I do enough to equip them? Did I hold them enough? Did I pray enough?
What is enough?
A million questions pass through my mind as I face the reality of “empty nesting.”
Why didn’t I enjoy it more? Why didn’t I slow down? Why didn’t I let them make more messes? Did all my nagging and fretting over disorganized barbie dolls and legos really matter??
As I sat here tonight, tears filled my eyes as I realized that I have been given a wonderful gift. Time.
My life took an unexpected turn last week, and for me a beautiful change has come. With it comes the one thing I crave the most….time. I find myself overflowing with gratitude for this precious gift.
I know what I need to do now. It’s only taken me 44 years to learn…
I need to cherish the moments. Slow down and drink in the sweetness of time.
Look for ways to enjoy it. Everyday.
So moms and dads, pick up those babies. Squeeze them tightly and breath in their intoxicating aroma…soon your day will come…
The day when you put them down, and never pick them back up.
Make it matter!
Daughter of Mine!
You will never convince me that the bond a mother and daughter share is imaginary!
Something spiritual and powerful happens on the inside when she becomes the mother to a little girl…I will never forget that day…
She gave me a run for my money in labour and delivery. She wasn’t ready to make her entrance I guess. But when she finally appeared I was in awe of this “mini-me” that had just changed my life forever.
Sure, she wasn’t my first, but she was a girl. My first and only girl. And I will never forget when I looked into her eyes and saw myself. I saw all my dreams and all my aspirations wrapped up in one little crooked-lipped bundle. WOW! Unforgettable!
Her entire life, everything inside me has wanted to protect her. To shelter her from the many hurts life can bring. Have I fought too hard? Probably? Have I sheltered her too much? Possibly. Have I loved her too much? NEVER!
Days have turned into years. She filled my days with her crafty creativity, her millions of questions and her even bigger millions of messes. But her little giggle and her adventurous wonderment were too adorable to describe. Her sweet nature has always remained the same…a thousand times I’ve wished I were more like her.
Sure we’ve had bad days…sometimes...she didn’t like the things I said or the rules I enforced. Sometimes we battled. Sometimes, we cried, sometimes we hurt. That’s normal I guess.
And me…well I’ve made a million mistakes, only to be forgiven over and over again…
Today my heart is full and I find myself abounding in words to describe this girl.
Beauty. Kindness. SelfLESSness. Patience. Gentleness. Goodness….and on and on it goes…
The first moment I held her there was no possible way I could predict that the angel in my arms would grow into the truly amazing woman she has become.
I am DEEPLY proud to call her MINE!
She has become a friend, a cheerleader, and a confidant for me, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone or anything!
I love you Jenelle Susannah Fitch. Happy 19th Birthday!
You make this world a much better place!
Dance in the Rain!
I heard a song the other day. It’s a song that I’ve heard quite a few times before. This time, however, the lyrics leapt from my radio and settled into my heart.
The song finds young girl living with an abusive father and who’s mother has died. The weather promises a storm of grave proportions and as horrible as it may be, she prays that her house would be blown away. She knows the power that the storm holds and she eagerly awaits the freedom it could bring her. Her drunken father is passed out on the couch and has no idea that the storm is about to take his life. His daughter waits safety tucked beneath the ground in a cellar. As her tears fall, she listens to the winds howl above her. She hears the cracking of lightening yet she clings to hope... after the storm, she emerges from the cellar unscathed by its fury and every trace of her past is erased. The sun shines and her house and father have vanished. The storm has become a thief to whom she owes her thanks.
What a picture! It got me thinking about the power of a storm…
The idea that a storm can bring freedom is often more than I can imagine. Seeing light through the darkest clouds, believing that on the other end of unimaginable pain and loss there could possibly be joy is almost impossible to comprehend.
In recent weeks we have witnessed “Superstorm Sandy” wreak havoc on many cities along the eastern coast of North America. A storm that has left a tangled mess of debris and ugliness. Without regard, that storm brought death, brokenness and devastation that will never be forgotten.
I cannot comprehend such loss. I have no idea what it really means to suffer. My heart is heavy as I see pictures of families whose lives have been turned upside down. BUT, I know we will watch them rebuild. We will watch as men, women and children start again. We will see them come back stronger and with more resolve than they ever knew they had. Resolve brought to the surface by a storm!
Storms always bring change. Change that can altar the path of our lives forever. Paths that we thought we were going to walk suddenly disappear and we find our feet stumbling to find solid ground. In those moments we are so desperate for the storm to pass, that we can miss the lesson it escorts on his wing.
What I know, what I’ve lived and what I can prove, is that every storm comes to an end. The sun always returns.
Unforeseen strength and fortitude often come on the heels of a disaster. Storms will masquerade themselves, but they are often a gift. So don’t fear the storm and its impending doom, but rather, fear its absence and in the meantime, learn to dance in the rain!
The power of a cupcake!
I am greatly privileged to be associated with a women’s organization that travels all over Ontario helping the lonely, the lost, the broken and the forgotten! This past weekend, some of us were welcomed into a crisis centre for women aged 16-24 to host an event just for them! The 10 current residents are all around age 18.
At first I thought maybe the teenagers wouldn’t be interested in what we were going to do. Which involved card-making, knitting, cupcake design and a modern tea. Boy, was I ever wrong!
Those girls LOVED it!
As I stood in the kitchen with cupcakes and butter cream up to my eyeballs, and imparted my limited decorating wisdom into the 7 girls crammed around the table, I was overwhelmed at the power of a cupcake! I realized in that moment that ANY little act of kindness no matter how messy (yes it was messy) can be a massive investment in the heart and life of a hurting soul. Their smiles and laughter brought a lump to my throat!
These 7 girls all come from severe abuse and the pain they live with everyday is very real and raw! To be able to momentary relive them of some sorrow was a beautiful gift to my life!
Yes, I know, it was only cupcakes, but later that day, when 2 of those precious girls came to me with tears in their eyes, expressing their deepest gratitude for all that we had done, I was WOWED!
I guess no cupcake is too small and no knitting needle is too short to reach the heart of a person in need.
Never underestimate or hide your talents or skills, they’re NOT just for you! Someone out there needs what you have…
"Each one should use WHATEVER gift he has received to faithfully serve others…” 1Peter 4:10
Yesterday I had the privilege of touring a women’s crisis shelter here in town.
As soon as I walked through the doors something leaped on the inside of me!
Firstly, realizing that this establishment is ten minutes from my front door and that I had no idea that it existed certainly shamed me, and secondly I was immediately drawn the kind hearted woman that was showing us around. She has an obvious compassion for the women that are in her care, and I was so thankful that people like her do what they selflessly do! Just because they know it’s the right thing to do!
I was thinking about her again this morning and reminded how important people like her truly are. People that cant resist being and doing good for others. I believe that this trait is hardwired into the very DNA of every single person! I believe that no matter our race, religion, age or financial situation we are ALL born to do good for others! AND we are all ABLE to do good for another. It doesn’t take much…
A friend of mine whose distant and lost sister is struggling with severe drug abuse and whose life has spiraled downward to dark, desperate place, did something so simple, yet so beautiful and good that it has the potential to heal his hurting sisters heart. He gathered old photos and compiled an album full of good memories to give to her, simply to remind her of better times, and that her brother loves her. Who knows how that little gesture could be a lifeline and ultimately rescue her.
Imagine a world where everyone did one good thing for another every single day. Imagine if we all really listened and looked for ways to do good! It could change everything! Doing good for our fellow man is as much a necessity as eating. It simply strengthens our body mind soul and spirit!!
Let Freedom Ring!
Today I am so deeply thankful for the men and women who have, and continue to stand and fight for our Canadian freedoms!
As we take time to honour their courage and sacrifice I am honoured to call myself among those who have family standing in that vast gap!
My grandfather fought in the second world war and I proudly have two cousins whose families have had their lives uprooted time and time again to move from one end of the country to the other, so that they can defend the freedoms my family enjoy.
Often I take that freedom for granted and I forget to say thanks to those people who courageously and willingly enlist not only their lives but also the lives of their wives, husbands, children, parents and siblings.
Without fear, I can read my bible, pray and even declare my beliefs without any reprimand or cost. I owe so much to the incredible sacrifices that these people make! There are other countries around that world that also have warriors...that also fight...they however are not defending freedom. They are defending dictatorship and oppression. We have never experienced such horrible hardship and I applaud our veterans for every minute they stand on the front lines making sure that our children and our futures are glorious and free!
May God keep our land and may He prepare a very special place in Heaven for these heroes!
“I shoulda stayed in Bed!”
Ever have one of those days?
You know the kind I mean? The kind when from the minute your eyes open, everything seems to go wrong? The kind of day where you can feel your blood pressure rise and your jaw hurts from clenching your teeth to prevent your unpredictable tongue from saying something you’ll REALLY regret!
I had one of those days this week! And boy-oh-boy was it a HUM-DINGER!
Scott woke me to inform me that the water heater flame thing had gone out and that we had no hot water! He had restarted it but the kids were going to be late for school waiting for showers and I’d have to drive them! Grrr…(the school is across town!!)
So as I sulked my way down the stairs and headed to the kitchen, I took solace in the fact that I was about to get my caffeine fix only to discover that I was out of coffee cream which meant NO coffee for the diva! (Ugh! I hate that! I need to start liking black coffee.)
Turns out my husband was wrong – hard to imagine – but TRUE! The hot water was not coming back on and we would have to have a guy come fix it, so until then, we would have to suffer! Being the cruel mother that I am, I made Jenelle wash her hair in cold water! (Please don’t call child services!!)
After I drove the kids to school, I came home, tried to fix my unwashed hair and apllied some make up. I quickly headed out the door to run errands, spend some birthday money and buy myself an extra large coffee! Only to discover as I pulled out of the driveway that my rear tire was completely deflated and that my “me time” was not going to happen!
As a red head, I can only be expected to display a certain amount of patience! Right? NO HOT WATER! NO COFFEE CREAM! NO SHOPPING! NO FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!
Back inside the house, my caffeine-free blood was boiling! And just then, my cell phone beeped and alerted me I had a text message. It was from my son Daniel. All it read was “I have a problem.” Those 4 words changed everything! I had no idea what the problem was. Perhaps his pants ripped wide open. Perhaps he left his homework at home. Perhaps a bully stole his lunch money, but whatever this “problem” was, it was going to prove to be the antidote to my fowl mood!
Suddenly I found myself in complete hysterics. Laughing until tears rolled down my cheeks. I knew I couldn’t help him! I knew even if his pants were ripped he was stuck in them all day because I had a flat tire and couldn’t bring him new ones! So I laughed and laughed and laughed! It felt wonderful!
The day continued to bring strange and frustrating situations, but that moment of laughter was enough to suppress the red-headed rage! Proving once again, that even though I DO NOT have it all together, what I do have, is a rich and deep abiding source of joy! Joy that strengthens me when I am at my weakest and when I am NOT my sanest!!! That joy cannot be stolen! It cannot be replaced! And it cannot be equaled! (Not even by caffeine!)
….”The joy of The Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10
Pretty in Pink.
(WARNING: NOT FOR BOYS!!)
(Oh and also - It’s 1:30 AM, so forgive any spelling mistakes )
Tonight I find myself sleepless.
My crazy brain wont switch off and I feel like my head may explode with all the thoughts that bombard it!
As a writer, I’ve learned that in these moments, most likely, something is lurking under my fingertips that must be typed…brace yourselves…this may be profound!
I went to bed before 11 tonight, dog-tired. Content with having spent a wonderfully fun, girly day with family and friends doing what girls love…SHOPPING! I spent a lot of time today laughing and joy was all around me! So I thought that as I flopped my crazy red head onto my pillow, my happy heart would rest easy knowing that a new pretty pink purse was happily adopted into a loving home!! :)
So, I tried counting backwards from 100…went like this:
“100, 99, 98, 97, 96, 97, 98, wait, am I still counting backwards?”
Tried not thinking about anything, except the entire time I was thinking about not thinking, which really confused me so I went back to counting…
“100, 90, 80, wait that’s not right…” UGH!
I JUST WANT TO SLEEP AND DREAM ABOUT MAKING PEOPLE JEALOUS WITH MY SUPER CUTE AMAZING NEW PINK PURSE!!!! WHY CAN’T I SLEEP????
Suddenly it occurs to me…”Jenn you’ve done a lot of talking today…why don’t you just shut up for a minute and listen?”
So I listened…all I heard was…
"Tomorrow that purse is gonna match your outfit perfectly!"
Sweet dreams ladies!
WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY PURSE!!!
Prov. 17:22 "A merry heart, doeth good like medicine..."
Do you ever hear that little whisper in your ear? You know, that one that says, “you can’t do this, and you’d better not even THINK about doing THAT!”
That voice that seems to increase in volume the closer we get to the edge can be the loudest and most paralyzing sound we can ever hear.
Yesterday I heard it. For a moment I let myself indulge in those careless whispers. I call them careless because if I listen to them long enough I find myself in a place where I just “don’t care.” In that moment it matters very little to me that I am feeding my insecurities or feasting on the lies that stop me from being the person and doing the things that I KNOW I was born to do.
Hiding, curling into a ball, and pulling the blankets over my head is usually my first inclination when the whispers start. It feels good sometimes to be left alone and not tune my ear to the truth. Yesterday however, I did the opposite. Instead of camping out under my tent of apathy, I found my friends. You know those friends that always know what to say? The ones who say it like it is? Well, I have some of those friends. Their belief in me, their encouragement and even their “kick in the pants” pushed me through my grumpy/I’m a loser/life sucks/ funk! They reminded me that I AM good enough, smart enough, and able enough to DO and BE all that I was put on this planet to do and be. It literally matters who our friends are! It matters whether or not we cultivate relationships that bring out the best in us. I’m NOT saying our friends are the answer to ALL of our hard days, but I AM saying that there will be days when the only thing that silences the careless whisper, is the thunderous applause of a good friend.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at ALL times…
August 18th 2011
I have a question!!
Is God smarter than a fifth grader?
From the very first verse in the book of Job it says “Job was blameless and shunned evil.” Yet God STILL gave the enemy permission to attack him? Why Him? God MUST have a big stick that He was waiting to whack Job with right??
Seriously! Did God not KNOW Job?
I’m pretty sure that if I endured even a fraction of Jobs hardships I would fall to teeny tiny shattered pieces.
Some days it feels like that’s what’s happening. It feels like bad gets badder(I know that’s probably bad english, but it’s fun to say) and tough gets tougher!
Some days I’d like to scream and yell and throw a hissy fit just to see if God is paying attention!
Often, it feels like the more I try and do things His way the worse things get!
If I am being honest, that kind of bugs me. It can make me question the sovereignty of God when people endure pains they(in my opinion) do not deserve. It surfaces the age-old question (that on this side of eternity may never be answered) ”why do bad things happen to good people?”
There is no perfect answer. When a good person suffers, do we really possess words sweet enough to soothe? Not really. Can we truly unravel the mystery of the “why?” Nope!
All we can do is carry them to the One who knows best.
What’s hard to for me to grasp is that somehow the One in whom I have entrusted my life, knows the beginning from the end. I must try and content myself with the hope that my present pain WILL produce a future gain.
Somehow in the midst of the storm, I must celebrate the One who permits the wild winds. And, as I get drenched in the relentless rains, I have to find a way to applaud the One who controls the downpour!
“I know that You can do all things; NO plan of Yours can be thwarted.”
Guess that’s my answer!!
August 2nd 2011
Good and Faithful!
Almost 19 years ago my entire world changed forever!
A bald little blue-eyed baby arrived and turned everything I thought I knew totally upside down! Tyler was born on a beautiful Friday afternoon and from the moment he was born he had this incredible strength! About an hour after he was born the nurse laid him on his belly in the little baby bed and we were all shocked when he immediately started lifting his head and trying to look around! Strong little curious monkey! Tyler was born to do amazing things!
He moved out of our home yesterday. (Insert tears!) He took that huge first step out into this crazy and scary world. I know that he is ready to face it, but yesterday as his car backed out of our driveway my heart was flooded with so many emotions.
Suddenly I remembered myself as a young mom holding her baby boy wondering if I was equipped for the task at hand. Why was I entrusted with this little life? Was I capable of teaching him the things he’d need to know?
The day he was born a million questions rolled around on the inside of me, and yesterday as he left, I felt like God whispered to me “You did it! You were good and faithful with what I entrusted you.” Wow! Talk about soothing words for a melting down momma!
Not that I didn’t make a million mistakes!
Did I make bad choices time after time? YOU BET!
Did I yell way too often? ABSOLULETY!
But somehow, God still enabled me to teach this young man right from wrong. Somehow deep down in his bones, Tyler has been instilled with a desire to love God and love others with all he has. He has grown into a strong and mature leader who I believe will impact countless lives!
I can choose to dwell on the endless mistakes I made, or I can concentrate on the good. I can let the flaws be magnified by an accusers voice, or I can listen to the truth that says, “You were good and faithful….”
I’m glad I still have two babies left at home to keep practicing with, but as for Tyler…he’s on his way! So look out world!!!
Ouch! I REALLY hate them! I hate when I have to admit that I've been wrong! I hate to HAVE to say I'm sorry, or that I was selfish, AGIAN!!!
Even though I KNOW that the admittance of guilt and the ability to say I was wrong always brings me a sense of peace, I often forfeit it for my stubborn pride!
It's fun sometimes to self endulge! It really is! To throw myself a pity party that only 3 people are invited to...me, myself, and I. But when the party ends, and I'm left to clean up the mess all by myself, I'm forced to come face to face with the big ugly monster that lurks inside! The truth is, it's no fun at all!
When the light shines in and exposes the grime, no smile I can smile is pretty enough to hide it and no laugh I can laugh is loud enough to deafen it!
What I've learned is that I may never really finish growing up. Growing pains may just be part of who I am and my mouth and my heart may contintue to reveal my immaturity and remind me of the distance I still need to travel.
I'm ok with that! It's better than the alternative I suppose...if I'm NOT growing, changing, or striving to be the person I was born to be, I will be lifeless, boring and ineffective! That's a pretty pathetic description of someone who is suppose to be born in the image of God! No thanks!
I'll take the growing pains please!!!
January 14th 2011
My first Blog...cool!
Cherry on Top!
Well, Daniel turns 14 this Sunday and by the end of this day, my house will be overun with hormones as his friends pile in! Birthday parties have totally evolved in this house! What used to be "pin the tail on the donkey" has become "let's be cool while we check out the girls (or guys)!"
Sometimes I wonder why I didn't enjoy those little birthday party moments more when they were young. I mean, they were fun, and although the lego and barbies and sticky fingers turned my house into a playground it made for some wonderful memories for my kids! But I have to admit, these teen years are proving to be a lot more fun!
I love that my kids are becoming adults that I can relate to and can actually give me advice and be my friend.
My Daniel is a great kid! He is so funny and everywhere he goes he is loved! He is the cherry on top of the cake in my life, and even though the weekend ahead will find me as a maid, chef and a Betty Crocker wanna be...I'll smile, knowing all of it is in honour of Daniel. I celebrate his life and know that he is here to change the world!